Hello, Hi, and Howdy!

Fisher

Welcome dear readers, to the second installment of the Critter Collection, an interview series where I ask creators about their experiences with being othered, excluded, or feeling not quite like a human, and the ways in which that has influenced their art.

To begin the interview: what would you like to be called today? What are your pronouns? And what hex code would you like to have for your name?

Ms. Witchdog

i am called ms. witchdog, and only known as ms. witchdog. i use it/she and #FACDDA

Fisher

Could you talk a bit about your experiences with being othered?

Ms. Witchdog

it's a bit of a hard question to answer cause the moment i thought about it i had like 4 minutes worth of traumatic flashbacks flashing through my eyes. i think the easiest route with my words would be that being othered has been my entire life. it's been quite painful

i think everything about me has been defined as "othered". my race, my queerness, my disabilities, the circumstances of my birth. even when i try to group with those who also are othered, i feel as though everything i went through prevents me from forming a genuine connection. whether or not it's my own fault or someone elses varies i think

Fisher

That makes sense, honestly the experience of being othered can sometimes be, like you said, all consuming, really to be isolated and left without any real recourse from everyone is not an uncommon experience, I think

Ms. Witchdog

yeah, and trying to find those like you is hard. everyone's pain feels different from mine. being queer and a freak or in pain suddenly stops being enough. the interests don't align, and the experiences are too foreign and abstract for the other to digest. if they're even interested in you at all

Fisher

I think beyond that, the act of community, true connection, and finding that- is challenging. its a difficult task and one where many people struggle, especially those who have been denied opportunities to connect in the past

How do some of those feelings end up in the things you make?

Ms. Witchdog

i think it ended up in my work without me realizing it at first. i wanted to write about my pain and find a way past it, and i guess so much of my pain involves that process of being othered.

monstrous deep blue was my first vn venture and it's strange looking back on it. it's very rough and clunky but it's raw enough to hit people in the heart. a constant theme of feeling inhuman and lashing out

Fisher

That makes sense. My own first VN was a lot to do with my own feeling of loneliness

There's a lot of ways to talk about being othered. Are there things you still want to say and discuss about these feelings? Or maybe a project you have in mind for such a thing?

Ms. Witchdog

i kind of spent a good chunk earlier complaining about being dehumanized but i think my goal at the moment is to try and figure out a way around it

i want to try and write about those feelings more. to try and be sympathetic to my own self while giving things a bit more clarity.

i can't say exactly how they tie into my current projects like femmes majectia or mdb2 but i feel they would be a great help for anyone who could be going through similar experiences

a victim of whatever sorts suddenly finding themselves in a tough spot. the conflict stemming from this inner turmoil. this disease of the personality and different responses and solutions. it's hard to describe without spoiling my stories

Fisher

That still makes sense, honestly. Something that could be understood by someone who is like you. something that might give a bit of hope. something that might help you yourself figure some things out

speaking to that
Do you have any words for the readers who may be experiencing similar things?

Ms. Witchdog

to those readers i must emphasize: a good chunk of my motivation to start writing was to escape from my situation. it's been hell and it's too much to describe in an interview like this

while writing didn't give me the fortune i was looking for, it did some other crazy shit. it helped me tackle some unbearable things that resided in my soul. some horrible nightmares that i can keep under control as an 11-year witch

and eventually at some point i was able to find people like me. very few far inbetween but they're able to house me. so in a way i did find an escape through writing.

that's point one i want to give to the readers: it's possible to survive and find that want to survive. point two is that i want them to give me money but they knew that already

Fisher

I think it is easy to lose all hope, but I think there are surprising ways to find a chance, and have things work out. I'm happy to hear that you had these things happen to you, and that you have been given these chances to continue living in a better and more hospitable way, that things will be better for you

Now that I've asked the questions I ask everyone I interview for the Critter Collection, I'd like to take some to pick your brain a bit further. First, I'm curious. my first game ever stuck with me, personally. it has a staying power for me, it is something I cherish. which game do you cherish the most though?

Ms. Witchdog

the first non-vn game that popped into my head immediately was killer7. i haven't delved into suda's other works but that game specifically stays in my head because of its "soul" in a sense

it drew me in with its esoteric aesthetics and vibes, present right down to the gameplay mechanics, and what i managed to get out of it was a thesis about someone's troubled mind and the journey to process everything that happened

it's kind of a bombshell for those plural but there's definitely a lot of jank to truck through if you wish to confront such a thing

another game i can think of that reached those heights is deltarune. it's still going and maybe it's too basic of an answer but that game very clearly understands those feelings of being outcasted and isolated. most people can't see it but there is a very real pain here that's hot to touch. it burns my fingertips

Fisher

that makes sense. Is there a game of your own you cherish the most?

Ms. Witchdog

in terms of my own games

it's my most esoteric project at the moment and the audience for it has been very minimal. but femmes majectia: a love letter to no one is something i've been wanting to write for years at this point

i consider love letter to be my strongest protagonist at the moment. she captures something so specific yet hot to the core. i hate her so much but i found myself wanting to feed her soup and tuck her into bed.

there's this ending that i am constantly haunted by the visions of. i foresee a future where people may not agree with the decision i want to go with but i feel it is important enough to navigate towards. and when i write that ending i will cherish much more than i already do

Fisher

That makes sense! That alone makes me even more interested to see how it will all play out
Something I've talked about with other game devs I know is the ways in which the drive to make games, the most powerful drive each of us has, that is, can be a powerful force but also unique in nature. I think my strongest force is the desire to get out the evil, so to speak. What do you think yours is?

Ms. Witchdog

it's definitely the want and need to escape my situation. some might not agree with me because it often takes the form of "i'm doing this because i want money" but they don't know what i've been through

if it were truly just for money then there's no way these stories would hit the way they would. i had always recognized that the best stories to me required a level of personal insight. an extremely specific kind of struggle to be explored.

not only do i want to create to improve as a person but i also want to be paid for it. i guess if i had to put it simply, my drive is hope. survival. hunger. healing. that sort of thing

Fisher

That makes sense. It also makes it feel more like it has a depth than it might have if you simply said "I want to escape my situation."

You want to make art that radicalizes your situation so much that your situation changes entirely. Money may be a component of that but like you said, it's much more
But also I think we deserve to be paid for our work anyhow

Ms. Witchdog

this country has hurt me in so many ways and wants to move on without me. but i will make sure they give me what i want

an icon once said, if the world chooses to become my enemy then i will fight like i always have

Fisher

Understandably so. And I hope this encourages some folks reading this now to fight on, to be unrelenting as you have been. But I think that also wraps up the questions I had for you. Anything else you want to say for the readers?

Ms. Witchdog

if my work has affected you on such a level then you have to tell people about it. leave a comment on the page. make a post about it with the name of the vn. this doesn't just go for my games, but for anyone out there fighting for their lives

find ways to be vulnerable. get in touch with your own emotions. research what newgens are up to and witness the same mistakes happening all over again.

also read crow cillers

Fisher

Indeed! On all points! Thank you Ms. Witchdog for your time